Musings

Perspectives from a married man who once wasn’t.

Musings of a Married Man: Shopping Spree

I sat down in front of the laptop last night, went over to Amazon and asked The Wife, “What do you think? Get the whole Buffy: The Vampire Slayer series for $99 and a couple of the Star Trek: Deep Space Nine seasons, or just pick up DS9?”

“Well,” she asked, “which do you like best?”

I sighed. “I hate when you do that, you know.” Read more…

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Posted by Gnorb - April 3, 2008 at 9:01 am

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Cocktail Attire (or Vote On What My Wife Will Wear)

You read that right, folks: I need you to help The Wife and I figure out what she’s going to wear. Actually, you’re helping me decide what I’ll be wearing. Thing is I have to match her, so whatever she decides to wear will be what she ends up wearing. And this is where you come in. Read more…

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Posted by Gnorb - July 26, 2007 at 8:41 am

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Musings of a Married Man: Third Year Lessons

A few days ago — on Wednesday, I think — I got a call from Nym. During the conversation, we got on the topic of marriage. She’s getting married in September (to a great guy) and as it so happened, Wednesday was my third wedding anniversary. (For those of you who don’t know, that’s the “leather” anniversary. Do us both a favor and don’t think too hard about that.)

I started by telling her that in the short span of time we’ve been married, I’ve had to learn a lot more than I ever expected. “Yeah, I can imagine,” she replied. “I’m sure it’s, like, the things that you found totally cute about her and that attracted you to her in the first place are now the biggest annoyances, right?” Anyone who’s ever heard the word marriage has heard something along those lines.

“No,” I replied. “Actually, that hasn’t been the case. The first thing that I noticed about her, and that attracted me to her, for that matter, were her looks.” Read more…

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Posted by Gnorb - March 11, 2007 at 11:18 pm

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The Chick Flick Moment

The term “chick flick” is slang, sometimes slightly derisive, for a movie which is designed or considered to appeal mainly to women, and generally displaying more of a focus on romance or relationships. Many romantic comedies or films with a lots of female characters are likely to be put in this category. — (Google Query: “Define: Chick Flick”)

Ladies: Ever wonder why it is that guys don’t like romantic movies like The Lake House and romantic comedies like You’ve Got Mail? Why it is that your man would do just about anything to get out of watching one of those obviously sophisticated, romantic Meg Ryan movies?

Wonder no more. The reason we men don’t like that type of movie (aside from the fact that no one has ever laughed during a romantic “comedy”) is because of what I like to call the “chick flick moment”. Read more…

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Posted by Gnorb - December 15, 2006 at 7:09 am

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Home Remedies

One of the things which has most surprised me about marriage is the plethora of home remedies-related baggage The Wife and I carry into the marriage. She has her set of remedies which may or may not work, and I have my remedies which definitely work. Probably. Maybe. Read more…

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Posted by Gnorb - October 27, 2006 at 8:36 am

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Text Messaging Etiquette for the Romantically Involved

I read the following in — of all places — ESPN’s Soccernet. (Talk about a weird location for something like this.)

When you get a text from your loved one saying something like ‘Love You’ or some other pithy comment, the proper response is, apparently, to text back straight away ‘Love You Too’ and, for best practice, add something equally as meaningful and romantic. Failure to do this will result in ‘bad points’ being awarded against you for which the eventual sentence will be swift, unexpected and almost certainly painful.

I learnt this to my cost after failing to observe the unwritten law — which I’ve never read as it isn’t written down — when receiving such a text yesterday morning and then neglecting to reply in the appropriate manner.

Truer words have been written, but not many. Not many at all.

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Posted by Gnorb - June 15, 2006 at 10:44 am

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Dollar Movie Theaters

After one of the hardest weeks in my professional career, The Wife and I decided to take tonight off from any job or business responsibilities and go out on our weekly date. Planning on a “dinner and a movie” evening, we started by going over to Sweet Tomatoes, an all-you-can-eat soup, salad and pasta restaurant. After getting sufficiently replete with salads that resembled rainbows more than they did plates of food, deep kettle chili, and ice cream (because, you know, ice cream is a salad related… food… dressing… thing…), we started to head over to the movie theater to finally watch Chronicles of Narnia.

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Posted by Gnorb - January 15, 2006 at 2:39 am

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Arranged Marriage Blues

Arranged marriages aren’t something Americans are very comfortable with, but for a large portion of those coming from places like India and Vietnam, arranged marriages are just another part of life. I was having dinner with a friend today when the topic came up. As it turns out, her family’s been looking to marry her off. Unfortunatelly, they were trying set her up with a guy who… uhm…

Tell you what: how ’bout I just let her tell you how she feels?

I’m sorry, but I’d have to have a few drinks before I’d even talk to him… If I ended up married to him, I’d have to become an alcoholic.

Ouch.

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Posted by Gnorb - October 23, 2005 at 12:36 am

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Setting Up for the Classroom

I’ve just spent the last 5 hours helping The Wife set up her classroom for the upcoming school year. She’s a first year teacher, teaching first grade. I’m sure you can guess how she’s feeling. (Hint: it’s not calm.)

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Posted by Gnorb - August 6, 2005 at 11:29 pm

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Musings of a Married Man: Remember When We First Saw This Movie?

It’s Monday night. That means it’s pizza night. Then again, at $3.18 per pizza, just about every night is pizza night. Although this isn’t good for my waist line, it’s great for my taste buds. Love the stuff.

So here we are watching a movie and munching some pizza after a long day at work. The movie: Armageddon. Great movie if you like to watch Bruce Willis play the same role he plays in every movie. Also a great movie if you like to watch pseudo scientific action comedies.

Normally, this wouldn’t be the kind of flick that would really make it into my top ten. Or top 20, for that matter. But there’s something special about this movie, since it was the first movie my wife and I ever saw together, four days after we first met in the summer of 1998. Because of this, Armageddon has always been special to us, especially the theme song, I Don’t Want To Miss a Thing.

What’s interesting is that every time we see the movie, she gets amorous. Very amorous. Not to say that this is a bad thing, mind you — it’s actually a very good one — but I just find it interesting that every time we watch this movie, somewhere in the beginning, the following conversation (or something close to it) takes place.

“Aww,” my wife says. “Remember when we first saw this? Our first movie.”

“Uhmm… yeah. And you were dating someone else at the time,” I said, in a flat voice.

“But still. It was romantic.”

“No it wasn’t. To me, it was frustrating, since one of us was trying to woo the other. And if I remember correctly, you only stuck around ’cause you thought I was ‘mentally unstable.’”

“Oh. Yeah. That. Well…” she continued, “Hey. I’m just trying to be romantic, you know.”

This is about the time in the movie where comet parts start raining on Manhattan, with buildings toppling and cars exploding.

“Yeah, I guess there’s nothing more romantic than the violent suffering of other people.”

“Hey!” she yelped.

I laugh.

“But you know,” she said, “you did woo me.”

“No I didn’t.”

“Why do you think I stuck around.”

“Uhm… well there’s that –”

“Besides that!” she retorted.

“Actually, I think it was an act of God. And my cooking.”

The conversation goes on from there. Needless to say that by the end, I’ve usually had a good laugh, and my wife feels guilty that I had to chase her for 4 1/2 years before she finally said “yes” to a date. All in all, it makes for a good little conversation. Every. Single. Time.

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Posted by Gnorb - February 1, 2005 at 12:32 pm

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