Humor

It’s funny. Laugh.

Bill Cosby at Carnegie Mellon: “Where the Nerds Stand Tall”

Nerd: A prepared person who doesn’t give a damn about the dance. — Bill Cosby

Bill Cosby’s keynote speech in Carnegie Mellon University. I found it interesting because there have been plenty of times in my life when I doubted myself–as we all have. At times I’ve given into that doubt. At time’s I’ve overcome it. The biggest lesson I’ve learned throughout it all? If you’re going through Hell, DON’T STOP!

Right in the middle he starts talking about the first time he got his big break, how the demons inside his head–those voices we all hear that tell us we can’t do something, the voices of Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt–took over him during his biggest opportunity and what it took to overcome them. Towards the end he hands us this nugget: “Don’t talk yourself into not being you. At any time. You don’t have an excuse that works. When you say ‘But I was nervous!’ That’s not you! That’s not how you got here! Yeah, you can be nervous. It’s good for you. It tunes you. But people want to see you… When you’re good, then you bring YOU out.”  Read more…

Be the first to comment - What do you think?
Posted by Gnorb - June 7, 2009 at 9:02 pm

Categories: Humor, Personal Development   Tags: , , ,

The Greatest Microsoft Word Error Message?

Got this while using Word 2007:

Greates Microsoft Word Error Message?

(Click image for full size image.)

If you’re too lazy to click on the image, here’s what it says: “There are too many spelling or grammatical errors in ‘Core.docx’ to continue displaying them…”

How bad of a speller do you have to be to get THIS error message? Holy Zombies, this is embarrassing. I… I don’t know what to say. Makes me think I should quit right now, just chop up my fingers and call it quits on this whole writing thing.

Before all that however, excuse me while I write a letter of apology to Microsoft, Oxford and the spining corpse of Mirriam Webster.

Be the first to comment - What do you think?
Posted by Gnorb - January 23, 2009 at 9:00 am

Categories: Humor, Tech   Tags: ,

Why I Want to Get an AppleTV

(If you can, read this post out loud. Who knows, others may thank you. Or they may threaten you with assault. Either way, a good time will be had by all.)

For a while now, I’ve been buying shows on DVD. Why? Because I don’t want to have to endure one second of a show I can’t stand. It’s been that way for years, which is why I simply don’t watch much television anymore. Add to that the fact that I hate having to watch TV on a schedule and you see my problem: even if there’s a show I like, I’m pretty likely to miss it.

DVDs solve that.

Thing is, finding a DVD in the box, then putting it in, and selecting the episode… well, that’s just too much work. That’s I want an AppleTV. Read more…

4 comments - What do you think?
Posted by Gnorb - May 16, 2008 at 8:02 am

Categories: Humor, Tech   Tags:

Life Lessons

Been working on writing comics. Thought I’d put something random up. Drawn by the awesome (and frighteningly fit) Adrian Parchment, script by li’l ol’ me. Created in War and Pieces during their weekly Artists’ Workshop. If you’re near Davie, FL, feel free to come join us every Sunday from 2-ish to 6-ish.

Life Lessons Comic

EDIT: You know, “Watch time fly” would have been a better pun.

Be the first to comment - What do you think?
Posted by Gnorb - April 8, 2008 at 5:17 pm

Categories: Comics, Humor   Tags:

Le Linkage #16: Around the Blogosphere

While I’ve tried — in vain — I haven’t been able to get one of these out (to my own disdain). Again, the glut of ideas currently swishing around my brain is like water around a drain: round and round it goes, and not in vain if I take this opportunity to sha… daing.

Alright, so that didn’t work out as planned. If it had been planned. I really should start reading more modern poetry. (Although by now you may already be aware of how I feel about poetry.)

Anyway, so here it is: another episode of Le Linkage, and this one’s about all the wonderful stuff making its way into my RSS reader as of late. Some of it is thought provoking, some just fun to read, but most, I’m sure you’ll side with me, won’t make your eyeballs bleed. (There now, that’s better, though not by much.) Read more…

2 comments - What do you think?
Posted by Gnorb - July 19, 2007 at 10:10 am

Categories: Books, Humor, Philosophy   Tags:

Someone’s Idea of a Joke

People at work know I’m a blogger. People that read my blog may know that, by profession, I’m a technical writer. Yesterday, someone at work thought I would find the following comic both funny and applicable. I did. Read more…

Be the first to comment - What do you think?
Posted by Gnorb - April 27, 2007 at 2:08 pm

Categories: Humor   Tags:

Video. Kitten. Laptop. Need I Say More? (OK, Cute and Funny)

Behold, the power of the Internet! Two-hundred thousand years of human evolution and technological revolution, all so we can laugh at a kitten going buck-wild on a laptop.

3 comments - What do you think?
Posted by Gnorb - February 24, 2007 at 11:58 pm

Categories: Humor, Random, Videos   Tags:

Le Linkage #14: The Humans in Technology Edition

Alright, folks: time for another edition of Le Linkage, the incidental series chronicling some of the more interesting pages I find in my stumbles through the Web. Today’s episode features stories about Nigerian scammers, anthropology, human enhancement, science fiction, some humor, and of course, another simple online game. Enjoy. Read more…

Be the first to comment - What do you think?
Posted by Gnorb - February 1, 2007 at 9:55 am

Categories: Games, Humor, Money, Politics, Quotes, Random, Sci-Fi, Tech   Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

It Burst Into Flames And Killed My Daughter: A PS3 Review

Edit: Since the time when I originally put this up, the review has been taken down from Amazon, so here for your enjoyment is the whole thing, an atrociously hillarious review from the most irresponsible father in all of history.:

It burst into flames and killed my daughter, November 19, 2006 Fun = 1 star out of 5. Overall = 1 star out of 5.

How could Sony betray me like this?!? I waited in line for three months–yes, I started the very first line for the PS3 way before anyone else. I endured the elements, the snide comments, and unemployment (I was fired from my job after the first week) because I wanted to be the very first person to play what I imagined would be the salvation to all my dearest dreams. Rumor had it that playing a videogame on the PS3 would be like injecting heroin directly into your eyeball. I believed the hype and worshipped Sony as my god.

Finally, with nearly every credit card maxed out and two debt consolidation plans under my belt, the great day arrived and I fought my way into the store to get my hands on this wonder console. Leaving the store I did a little victory dance and then drove up and down the parking lot taunting those who did not get a PS3. Then it was off to home to play this little beauty.

I hooked everything up while my wife and children watched and applauded at my direction. It was time to play the first game! After two hours I noticed that waves of heat were pouring off the console, so I told my daughter to hold it up in the air in front of a fan while I continued playing, waiting for the opiate-like ecstasy that was soon to overwhelm me after I shot to death another video game enemy. Things went fine for awhile; an hour later the box began whistling and my daughter complained that it was getting too hot to hold. I figured this was just what they called “burning in” and continued playing.

Then, at the four hour mark, my daughter began complaining of blisters and within fifteen minutes the entire console burst into flames, the plastic casing scorching and bubbling as I rushed to complete the level. But I was too late, and my precious daughter burned to death. Wracked with sadness at not being able to save my game, I immediately called my lawyer to review my options for a massive lawsuit.

I am sure we all expected a few “bugs” and “glitches” and “inconveniences”, but that does not excuse Sony for selling what appears to be a blazing DEATH TRAP.

Caveat emptor!

UPDATE: Those who doubt me should know that I have already granted several interviews to bloggers about this story. My surviving wife and children certainly think this is all too real. Also, I would like to change my overall rating to two stars since the gameplay was fairly good until it burst into flames.

Here are some of his other reviews. You should also check out his wedding registry. If all else fails, check out his blog, neither of which include this particular review.

Be the first to comment - What do you think?
Posted by Gnorb - November 22, 2006 at 5:31 pm

Categories: Humor   Tags:

The Ultimate Rejection Letter

I know a few college guys and doctoral students who need a laugh, so here you go:

Herbert A. Millington
Chair – Search Committee
412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University
College Hill, MA 34109

Dear Professor Millington,

Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant professor position in your department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite Whitson’s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,
Chris L. Jensen

Source: ChaosMatrix.org.

Be the first to comment - What do you think?
Posted by Gnorb - November 21, 2006 at 9:45 am

Categories: Humor   Tags:

Next Page »