Instant Cowboy: Fat Daisy

Chapter 9

Later that day, Carlos came into the shop to tell Fat Daisy the news that Radley would be moving in with his dad.

“I heard,” she said. “How do you feel about it?”

“I don’t know. Sad, I guess, though we really haven’t hung out much since after that day.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“That’s OK. I think he’ll like living with his dad, even though my mom says his dad is a fat drunk. Still, he said he likes it over there. His dad lets him do pretty much whatever he wants.”

“Is that so? Well, I’ll tell you what: I won’t let you do whatever you want, but I’ll let you grab whatever ten comics you want. That is what you’re here to do, right? Not just here to give me bad news, I hope.” She tipped her head towards the boy and stared at him from the top of her eyes, finishing the statement with a smile.

Carlos nodded and ran to the back of the store to pick what he wanted. So long as the boy didn’t go around poking into the packages, everything would be just fine.

To be continued…

4 thoughts on “Instant Cowboy: Fat Daisy

  1. Glad to hear you liked it! As for the boys, everyone’s been telling me the same thing, 11 or 12. Guess I should go hang around with a few more 8 year old boys. (Writing this has taught me that I need to work on my research a bit more. It’s also taught me that not everyone appreciates extremely multifaceted characters.)

    I’ll be doing a major rewrite of the story to incorporate some of the critiques I’ve been getting. They include (1) the boys’ ages/actions (and their innocence, which is more akin to 6 year olds) (2) the character of Peter, who to many has seemed to amble around sort of pointlessly, (3) the elimination (or re-construction) of the first chapter, which both sets up the expectations of the story as being a comic book tale and feels like I’m still trying to feel my way around. There are other things, but these are the major points.

    By the way, would it tick anyone off if I now mentioned Carlos is gay? I kid! I kid!

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