I write. A lot. Problem is, a good chunk of it — three quarters, or more, I would venture to say — is total crap. Well, not total, but it certainly isn’t great. In fact, most of it isn’t even good. Nevertheless, I still write. A lot.
If you’ve been reading for a while you know that my posting frequency has diminished from a high of five (and sometimes more) posts per week to a paltry weekly posting. The reason for this is multi-fold, but it really boils down to a few big reasons:
- I’m looking for better quality. See, while I like writing and posting stories here, I’ve come to realize that in order for me to really be able to show the site off to others (potential clients and advertisers, for example) as something more than the basic ramblings of a self absorbed, pale faced fat man behind a keyboard, I have to do little things like proof read. Mind you, for the stuff I post here the first draft is usually the near-final: it’s not often I read through a post and reorganize thoughts, eliminate superfluous words, or look to create a better flow for the story. Still, I take care to re-read, at least once, what I have written so as to ensure that what comes out doesn’t make me sound like an ignorant jackass.
But that’s one of the things that have recently started to change. I’ve actually started the habit of writing something, saving it, and reading it later. I’ve come to the frightening realization that most of my first drafts are, while not utter crap, sadly amateur at best. In short, one of the reasons for the lack of frequent updates is the direct result of my search for better quality.
- Often, I feel like interacting with others, so I post on other sites, like 9Rules, Pownce, and other social services. (The results of that can be seen on the sidebar, in the “Random Thoughts” section.) I guess I’ve never been self involved enough to hold a one-way conversation with the ether, especially without allowing it the courtesy of an answer, which is why I leave comments on. Lucky for me, this feature is finally getting used on a fairly regular basis by about three or four people, and a few others somewhat sparingly. Still, sometimes, more often than not, it feels like a one way conversation. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not here begging for comments: the fact is that many of my posts just don’t lend themselves to commentary. Also, there are few blogs that really get a lot of comments. Nevertheless, I appreciate the readership all the same. (On the bright side, my AdSense numbers aren’t all that bad, but frankly I’ll take a good conversation over a penny from ads any day.)
- I’m spreading my writer’s wings. Or fingers. Or… whatever. With my foray into the world of literary fiction, I’m starting to make it a point to write stuff that I intend to either sell or give away as advertisement. Unfortunately, this means that a lot of what I write — namely, a lot of the short stories — don’t make their way here, since a clause for publication is usually that these stories not be published anywhere else. Of course, that’s had me thinking about using this site as a place where I put my stuff I either can’t sell or don’t consider marketable, but doesn’t that then defeat the purpose of #1? True, it probably doesn’t, and I’m probably just being a chicken about posting fiction. But the fact remains that I’m not all that comfortable with it.
So that’s the short of it: looking for higher quality, lower stuff quality going somewhere else, and looking to write in other places.
You know, considering I’ve been writing professionally since around 2000, it’s a bit surprising I’m still thinking like this. Then again, maybe this is all part of the continual improvement cycle. Or maybe it just has to do with my life’s focus changing from what I had to do to what I’m supposed to do.