Conference Notes: On Marriage, Business, Growing Yourself, and Growing Others

The following are a few of the notes I took from speakers I heard at a recent conference. Note that each of the speakers spoke on a different topic, so when you see three or four notes that seem to be talking about the same thing it’s because, in essence, they are. (A note to singles: Some of these are very marriage and relationship specific. They may not make much sense right now, but read them for future reference.)

1. Involve your kids in everything you do, as best you can.
2. When working as part of a team, make sure to learn everyone’s name and a little bit about them. A little recognition will do wonders for morale.
3. Unity does not mean absolute obedience, it means absolute togetherness.
4. Any business works like dating a pretty girl: you find her, clean yourself up, then ask her out — not once, but until she says “Yes”. [Edit: This is how I tricked The Wife into marrying me.]
5. Any business you want to succeed in you have to become a professional at. Treat it exactly like you would a professional career. Remember: 3 and 4 digits is hobby income; 5 and 6 digits is professional income. Become a pro.
6. Think about this: when you’re spending time, are you wasting it or investing it?
7. Disassociation from the wrong people is just as important as association with the right people.
8. A few hundred “hellos” will help build every business. Networking is key.
9. Respect comes from the pursuit of success.
10. Trust is at best a very fragile commodity. It takes long to build, and once it is broken it is hard to re-attain it.
11. It is not about how many people respect you, it is about how many people you respect.
12. When working with people, do you do what you do for money or friendship? The first is useful, yes, but without the second you’ll never have pull with people.
13. Friendship is the only catalyst for stick-ability and growth. If your business has turned into a revolving door, check the friendship factor.
14. Ask yourself: “Is my heart open enough”? (Are you empathetic with people, no matter where they have come from? Are you non-judgmental enough that people will trust you?)
15. Always be open and honest. You need something? Tell people the truth as to why you need it. (This requires that you’re honest to yourself.)
16. While you should build friendships, you cannot let people you lead get too close. If they know all your flaws you’ll never be able to teach them anything.
17. Married folks: Are you writing down and working towards your goals as a couple?
18. It is important to know what your needs are, what’s important to you, as well as what your spouse’s needs are, and what’s important to your spouse.
19. What good is it to get your business goals accomplished if you lose your wife in the process?
20. Men: Make a decision every day to stay in love with your wife. It is important for you to know your wife like you knew her when you first started dating. This now, like then, is a choice. Don’t take anyone — especially her — for granted.
21. Pornography will take down even the greatest of men. It is an addiction more nefarious than even drugs or alcohol, since it can usually be better hidden and — thanks to the Internet — a lot more accessible.
22. Learn to have balance in your marriage. Stay fit for each other; work out together. Go to counseling if you have to in order to make sure your relationship works.
23. Couples: Work with each other’s strengths. Complement each other’s weaknesses. Learn what your spouse needs and wants. Don’t love your spouse because you need them, need your spouse because you love them.
24. This is especially for guys, but ladies listen, too: watch where your eyes go. As man thinks in his heart, so is he. Adultery is not a sin of the flesh, it is a sin of the mind.
25. Keep balance. Do what you need to in order to stay sane, and meet your own needs. You may have to be off balance once in a while, say for 90 days while you’re working hard towards a specific goal, but get back in balance as soon as you can. What good does it do a man to gain the whole world, but lose his soul in the process?
26. Don’t use your spouse as an excuse not to follow your dreams. Work things out as you see fit to get them done.
27. Economic freedom does something to the human spirit that can’t be done with anything else.
28. You have to change your thinking before you change your lifestyle (or reality). You have to guard your attitude, because attitude determines altitude.
29. When you talk bad about people, that reveals your character.
30. When you stop fighting for what you want, what you don’t want will take over the territory.
31. When you do not have a goal and no plan of action, then you have no faith in your dream.
32. What your degrees are or how many you have — it doesn’t matter. WHat matters is whether you have a dream. Your job as a human being is to awaken the dreams of people you come in contact with.
33. Aren’t you tired of putting things in the back-burner, just to watch them burn? Why do you do what you do? Why don’t you do what you don’t do?
34. There is no difference between the man who knows how to read and won’t, and the man who doesn’t know how to read. Knowledge and ability are all about the application thereof.
35. It’s easy to handle things when everything is good and positive. But what counts is how you act when you receive negative.
36. All people are creators. Every time they open their mouth they’re creating their own realities. As are you.
37. To create a new reality, first change your beliefs and your actions.
38. At the end of the day, always ask yourself “How did I move closer to the future I envision and want for myself today?”
39. Work shouldn’t feel like work: it should be an “I get to do this” instead of an “I have to do this.” This is one of the signs you’re doing or not doing what you’re supposed to be doing.
40. A story on focus from the Mahabharata: A teacher told his archery students “There is a deer over there. I want you to shoot it in the eye. The first student steps up and the teacher asks him “What do you see?” The student answered, “I see a deer with a forest behind it and –” The teacher stopped him. “Don’t shoot. You won’t hit it.” The second student came up and the teacher asked him “What do you see?” The student answered, “I see a deer, I see its head and I see an eye.” The teacher said, “Don’t shoot. You won’t hit it.” The third student came up and the teacher asked him, “What do you see?” The student answered, “I see an eye.” The teacher asked “Nothing else?” “No,” answered the student. “I see an eye.” This is the type of focus that it takes to do anything of worth.
41. Unity is not the absence of an opinion, it is the absence of rebellion.
42. If you’re not having fun working your business, sit down with someone you trust as a coach or mentor who is growing, and talk to them about whatever is going on.
43. Have the courage, as a leader, to look at yourself if someone you trust and respect tells you that you should, in order to grow.