Have you heard? A live action Transformers movie is being made. Yeah, I know — this is the last straw, probably crap, shouldn’t be done, why god why, blah, blah. I totally understand how you feel. I felt the same way! I mean, why mess with a good thing, especially one that doesn’t look anywhere nearly as good now as it did when I was a kid? (Have you seen Thundercats or Silverhawks lately? Geez!)
Anyway, that was until I saw the first trailer, just released today. (If you thought different then you’ve probably never heard of Uwe Boll.) After seeing the trailer, I’ll admit, I got pretty excited about it. Really excited.
07/04/07, baby. 7-4-7.
Newsflash Edit: Looks like the trailer was leaked in YouTube.
(Note: I would still go to the Transformers.com site and see it there. Much better quality. Still, this isn’t bad.)
Newsflash Edit 2: Looks like someone pulled the trailer from YouTube. (Gee, I wonder who.) Anyway, the only place you can see it now is at Transformers.com, which is just fine, unless you use Linux; Flash 8 is requred and Macromedia still hasn’t released it for Linux. Dumbasses.
As a side note, It’s nice to see that all my childhood media heroes are getting resurrected onto the movie screen, most of which are good movies (think Batman Begins and X-Men). This probably means that economically, generation X-ers and Y-ers are finally worthy of attention by industries that have until now been held captive by the economic power of the baby boomers.
Now that we’ve captured the movie market, maybe we can begin influencing auto makers. Why not start asking for our own Transformers? (Hybrid, of course.) Heck, if that’s too hard I’d settle for my own KITT (as in Knight Rider).
The thing is, right now the only “cool” cars are SUVs, Hummers (also known as “monster trucks”), and hybrids, depending heavily on who’s deciding what “cool” is. On the whole, hybrids are generally pretty cool. SUVs and Hummers, however, scream of middle-age soccer mom like a bald man in a convertible Corvette screams of midlife crisis. (Because SUVs and H2s have become the new Minivan. H3s just plain suck.) Maybe auto makers should start updating them to appease the GenX and GenY crowd. After all, if they’re making gas guzlers anyway, if they’re going to force us to drain all of the planet’s resources, why not at least make them appealing to us? (Suck it, Gore!) How to do that, you ask? Easy. Just have the engineers watch at all the 80’s TV shows and get them to start making that stuff. We’ll even let them start with something simple: how about adding a new “Go go Gadgetmobile” feature to the Toyota Sequoia? Call it the Sequoiavalon. Or better yet, since we’re apparently at war, (against… Iraq? Terror? Gangs? Illiteracy? The Poor? Democrats?) how about making super intelligent Hummers that come with mounted weaponry as a standard feature? (Think Airwolf, but on wheels.) Terrorists aside, this would come in handy when riding through insurgent strongholds like Detroit and New Orleans, or when trying to find a parking spot in South Beach on a Saturday night.
After all that is done, maybe we can start with the Transformers. Because, as we all know, what better way is there to fight terrorism, Detroit, New Orleans, or parking problems than with a weapon-loaded Transformer Hummer?
None. Optimus Gasguzler to the rescue, bizatch.