Text Messaging Etiquette for the Romantically Involved

I read the following in — of all places — ESPN’s Soccernet. (Talk about a weird location for something like this.)

When you get a text from your loved one saying something like ‘Love You’ or some other pithy comment, the proper response is, apparently, to text back straight away ‘Love You Too’ and, for best practice, add something equally as meaningful and romantic. Failure to do this will result in ‘bad points’ being awarded against you for which the eventual sentence will be swift, unexpected and almost certainly painful.

I learnt this to my cost after failing to observe the unwritten law — which I’ve never read as it isn’t written down — when receiving such a text yesterday morning and then neglecting to reply in the appropriate manner.

Truer words have been written, but not many. Not many at all.