In Star Trek, Causality is Never an Issue

I just finished listening to “Captains Blood” by William Shatner. (It was an audiobook read by Shatner himself.)

Worst. Novel. Ever.

This novel is one of those where Shatner decides that the story would be best told with both the Kirk crew and Picard crew as part of the action. (He even manages to throw in some Janeway.)

Frankly, that whole premise sucks, along with every book which uses that premise. Sure, the whoke “Kirk/Picard” deal was good and innovative — for one movie. But to do it over and over, to keep bringing character after character back from the dead, is… terrible!

Damn it, why can’t anyone in Star Trek just stay dead, no matter how important they may have been?! And it’s not like they were cryonically frozen. Noooooo, that would make too much sense. No, people in the Star Trek universe just keep jumping back and forth through time, over and over and over. Causality? What’s that?

This whole plotline is the equivalent of temporal incest.

“Oh crap — We’ve jumped again through time! The Prime Directive says we can’t affect the past in any way.”

“Actually, sir, according to the Federation Manual it says…” (flipping through pages), “…ah! here we go. Step one: observe Prime Directive.”


“Step two: Violate prime directive.”

“Ok, then. Let’s go mess around with some important historical figure and tell him we’re from the future.”

“Step three: Justify the violation, then say ‘To hell with the consequences.'”

“We may be here for a long, long time. When we get back, we’ll drag back a person or two. Nobody will notice!”

“Step four: Pretend it didn’t happen. When you get back, nothing that you know of will have changed.”

“Good. Let’s get to work then.

“Eye eye, Captain.”

Of course, Kirk comes out as the major star in the book, with Picard playing second fiddle to Kirk pretty much at all times. Must be good when the captain is the author of his own story.

Edit: I just realized: Shatner’s (alter?)ego may actually be Futurama’s Melllvar. Talk about ironic.

Edit 2: Holy Tribbles! Today is Shatner’s 75th birthday! Happy Birthday, Bill. (Sorry, but that book still sucked.) Looking good for a 75 year old. Maybe it’ll be you that reaches 150+ years old, since “Bones” and Scottie have both bodly gone. I wonder if anyone has some sort of death wager over who’ll go next. Nemoy? Nichols? Takei? Shatner? That other guy, uhmm… Bester? Welchie?

One thought on “In Star Trek, Causality is Never an Issue

  1. Wow, ok, so this was the basic plotline of about 20-30% of star trek.

    And yet it was still addictively good.


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