Musings of a Married Man: When a Wife Invades Your Home
Funny. As a single guy, I wasn’t much into movies. My collection consisted of The Matrix, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, and one season of Futurama. Now, after getting married, all of a sudden I’m this movie addict with a penchant for uhm… furniture.
Needless to say, when I was single, my interaction with the TV was at an all-time low. My viewing was limited only to these DVDs, a couple of hours of playing Final Fantasy X and X-2 a week, and Mexican music videos playing late night on channel 104 in Ft. Lauderdale. Other than that, I spent most of my program viewing time watching downloaded episodes of Love Hina on my laptop. (This was before they were licensed in the U.S., so it wasn’t like downloading something I could’ve picked up at the store.)
Then, I got married.
“Oh, let’s stop by that Blockbuster,” I’ll say. “They’re selling three movies for $20!” I would have never even thought about that when I was single, even living in a crappy and depressing little apartment with unadorned walls, friendly-but-strange neighbors, and yellow water.
To give you some perspective, when I was single my home furnishings consisted of my computer desk, a chair, my bed, a bookshelf, and a spoon. Plates? I didn’t need no stinkin’ plates! That’s what lids are for. And cups? Why, I’d just use the left over yogurt containers, of course! I eventually added a television, TV cart, and lamp, but only after I got bored of listening to the neighbors next door fight, make up, and have sex. (And yes, she was ugly, which made it even worse.)
After she moved in, it was only a matter of time — days, really — before we were clambering for more space. Adding a couch and a queen-sized bed to a 600 sqare foot apartment will do that, apparently. I also had less closet space, although as a single guy, I rarely used the closet and instead relied on a big pile of clothes I left on the floor. Need something ironed? Just place it neatly at the bottom of the pile overnight. In the morning it was as good as new. Kinda.
The strange part was that I didn’t really mind. In fact, I kinda liked it.
I guess this is what happens when one gets married: the strongest traits from each of the partners rub off on the other, at least for the most part. For example, I picked up my wife’s affinity towards movies, which is why I found myself buying a copy of Elf a few weeks back. (Actually, she bought it, over my objection. Poetically justly, I’m now begging to watch the movie every couple of days, even if it’s just to keep that Christmassy feel.) Likewise, my wife picked up an affinity for anime, especially the cute, comedic kind like Love Hina and Ah! My Goddess.
Of course, what made us us is still there. I’m still the showman in the relationship, able to get up in front of just about any size audience and perform like a little kid singing for his mom, and she’s just as quiet, patient and proper as ever. (This despite my best attempts to introduce her to the “burp your whole name” game.)
I wonder if this will change as the years go on. Having been married for about 10 months now, I’m starting to see some difference in the way both she and I act, both towards each other and to others. Towards each, we’re a lot more relaxed, and a lot more loyal. (I can, for example, go to the bathroom, come out, express my satisfaction with what happened in there, and not feel awkward about it.) Towards others — well, I’m picking up some of her patience and heeding the advice from the book of Proverbs.
It makes me wonder whether we’ll ever get to the point where we can be sitting in a restaurant, she looking at me, I looking at her, and without a word being said between us she can tell the waiter, “Excuse me, but he doesn’t like this, and he wants you to take it back.”