Jerusalem — After years of seclusion following the revelation of his existence on Weekly World News, the famed Bavarian Bat Boy has resurfaced, and is now working with the Palestinian organization, Hamas. Israeli officials claim to have seen him in Hamas-sponsored protests and activities. Bat Boy, whose real name is Vladimir, is said to have joined the movement last year, after he began to vocally criticizing the U.S. occupation of Iraq.
Officials speculate he’s just doing it for the food. But according to Omar Hassan, a CIA agent who has infiltrated the group Islamic Jihad, goes by the name Mohammed al-Rahib and has woked with Bat Boy in the past, Bat Boy “truly feels sorrow for the plight of the Palestinian people, especially those with type AB negative blood. [Yasser] Arafat, he believes, would have been deliciously proud.”
No word yet on whether other members of the undead have joined the movement. However there are reports of lycanthropic militants disguising themselves as dogs and birds, and assisting the Iraqi insurgents.
Edit: A lot of people have asked me about this story, wondering why I even wrote it. See, I was studying for an interview with a certain software company and needed to relax a bit. I Went over to news.google.com to check out the latest headlines. One of the stories featured the second picture you see in this story. (The one of the boy yawning or yelling or about to bite a victim.) Right away I thought “Bat boy joins Hamas!” and decided then that this would make an amusing story. Ten minutes later, this article was born. After reading the article, I realized that most readers would have no concept of what “bat boy” was. I decided then to find a picture of the “bat boy”, as featured on Weekly World News. Wouldn’t you know it, I stumbled on a picture of bat boy — in Iraq! Perfect! I pasted it in and now, hopefully, you’ll find this as funny as it sounded in my head. If it doesn’t — well, too bad. Go read an engineering joke or something.