All the World’s a Stage…

As some of you know, I’m currently between jobs. (I’ve heard it referred to as “Professional in Career Transition.”) Honestly, this has been a great opportunity for me to begin exploring interests other than technology, although I haven’t exactly stepped out of that realm, for my part.

During this time, I’ve thought about going back into music, to either bury myself in a music studio as an engineer, or to live under the burning stage lights as a performer.* I’ve also thought about going back into school to get a journalism degree. Finally, I’ve thought about changing my carrer path completely, to work around plants, like in a flower shop or as a park ranger.

*Note: If you’ve never been on stage, trust me, those lights can get seriously hot. If you don’t mind being scrutinized by hundreds and thousands of people — well, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. There’s no feeling like being a stage, finishing a solo, and knowing that you knocked their socks off.

But I’m not going to hide it: the allure of the stage (and I’m probably romanticizing here) is particularly tempting. I don’t think I have the skill to become an orchestra player again — the fingers, I feel, have gotten a little rusty — so auditioning to the local orchestra is out of the question for now. But maybe I could try my hand at working on the radio, or even on television. (Working as a writer in this field is rather appealing.)

I was looking around yesterday on Craig’s List when I happened to find an ad for a personal assistant on some television show being filmed in this area. (That’s one of the perks of living near Miami. Lots of opportunities to be on TV and film.) Might as well bookmark it for later answering, right? Kept on looking and later dropped by Career Builder and found another television-related ad, this time for extras on television and movies. The ad was a bit vague (in fact, both were), but I decided to bookmark that one as well.

I got up this morning and took the long, 30 second commute to “work” (there was some traffic in I-203 just north of the bathroom/living room intersection), and started the process of answering those ads I bookmarked. One of the ads — the one for extras — had a phone number to call. I looked at it for a second and though, why would they have you call them? don’t they normally want to either (a) meet you face to face, or (b) avoid you completely?

Still, I went against my gut instinct and called. An automated system answered and put me on hold.

Daing it, don’t they realize I’m on a cell phone here?! Oh wait… they don’t. Insensitive ignorant clods.

After about 10 minutes, I got someone on the phone. He asked me whether I had done any type of work as an extra or any acting. I’ve done some, but not enough worth mentioning. (Does a play in sixth grade count? Does improvising on stage in college count? Probably not.) Then he asked me if I was part of any actors’ union. Nope. He then explained about how his company would give me a password to a website and I’d be able to find jobs there for acting and being an extra in movies and television — for $139.

Ah, so that’s it. It’s a sales ad.

After seeing my sister join one of these “pay us to make you a model” deals and never go anywhere with it, I decided that right now, me paying $139 for a chance at a job just wasn’t in the cards. I thanked the man for his time and hung up the phone. Don’t get me wrong, this might be fully legit, but there’s got to be other ways to work in that field, right?

I then went on to answer another ad, this time for a position as assistant personnel. (That is what “AP” means, right?) It’s probably nothing big. Maybe running around behind the scenes getting stuff for people. Might as well look at how “the biz” works on the other side of the camera. The ad, unfortunately, wasn’t particularly descriptive. Maybe they were looking for someone with no real experience in anything, or some housewife that wanted to do something more than simply stay at home. Either way, I shot off a letter explaining how my years in music and writing would benefit their project, whatever it might have been.

Who knows, maybe someone will actually reply. Of course, they’ve probably received thousands of resumes and emails from “oh oh oh, choose me! Choose me!” people. But hey, you never know. (Does crossing your fingers still work?)

Note: Of course, for those of you who insist on my praying for the job, I have news for you: I always do. Not for any particular job, of course, but that His will may be done. Who knows, maybe I was sent here to become Dilbert’s garbage man. Somehow I doubt that.

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