Why I Want to Get an AppleTV

(If you can, read this post out loud. Who knows, others may thank you. Or they may threaten you with assault. Either way, a good time will be had by all.)

For a while now, I’ve been buying shows on DVD. Why? Because I don’t want to have to endure one second of a show I can’t stand. It’s been that way for years, which is why I simply don’t watch much television anymore. Add to that the fact that I hate having to watch TV on a schedule and you see my problem: even if there’s a show I like, I’m pretty likely to miss it.

DVDs solve that.

Thing is, finding a DVD in the box, then putting it in, and selecting the episode… well, that’s just too much work. That’s I want an AppleTV.

Right now, when The Wife and I decide to watch television, it goes something like this:

“So hon, what do you want to watch?” I say.

“Whatever’s on.” She says.

“Alright, let’s just flip through the channels.” I Pick up the controller and start channel surfing. “Nope.” Next. “Nope.” Next. “Nada. Nothing. Zilch. Zip. Zero. Na-ah. No way. Negatory. Nein. Rien. Nyet… Yoooou wanna just watch a movie?”

“Sure, which one?”

“Feel like a comedy?” No. “What about romance?” No. “Action?” Maybe. “Sci-fi?” Sure. “Which one?”

“Pick whatever.”

“Alright, then how ’bout this one?” No. “Or this one?” She shakes her head. “This? Any of these? This? This? This? What about this? Feel like… no? This?” Sigh. “You feel like renting something?”

Times like these are why want my television to act like my RSS reader. Seriously, I just want to be able to download all my favorite shows directly, so I never have to turn the channel. (Sort of like if you have a good RSS reader you rarely have to leave it to view a site.) I’d have my own one-person, love-everything-all-the-time network! Imagine how awesome it would be!

“Hey, Hon,” I’d say, “whatcha feel like watch’n?”

“Whatever you want,” she’d answer.

“SWEET! Let’s just put it on random. I don’t really want to have to think about it, and because I like all these shows, anything’s fine.” I’d put it on random, and a show would come up. “Hey, I love this show! Buuut I hate this episode.” Next. “No, not that, either.” Next. “Not that. No, not that. Not that. Not.. Maybe, but let’s see what’s next. Not that. Why do I even have that? Not that. Not that. I forgot about that, but not now. Not that. Not that. How about.. Not that… Yeah, let’s go back to that other one. No not that one, the other… no, not.. Not that one. Not that one… The one before. The one before. No. No. No–THAT ONE! STOP! RIGHT THERE! No, the one before. The one before…”

So basically it’d be like having cable without all the crappy, useless networks. And it would be awesome.

4 thoughts on “Why I Want to Get an AppleTV

  1. Nooooo. Apple’s too willing to embrace DRM.

    I’ve also been wondering how to get my tv and internet to play nice together. I think (but am not positive) my solution is to get a Samsung display that has a tuner and a VGA connection, so I can use it as television and monitor.

  2. You know, a while back I would have had a problem with that. But then I drank the Apple Koolaid — what, with my MacBook and iPod — and I fell in lust with the sexiness of being able to have all my systems talking to each other wirelessly, and of sharing movies and shows from one room to another.

    The again, I wrote this piece because I was frustrated with all the DVDs I have at home, and the fact that I don’t have/don’t want cable (yet feel the urge to keep abreast of revelations in Battlestar Galactica).

  3. @Jake: That blooping sound the thing makes when you’re fast forwarding or rewinding scares me. Also, I don’t like the idea of paying a monthly fee. (I don’t have cable, so why would I get a TiVo?)

    Don’t get me wrong, I like owning DVDs. I just find it annoying to have to look through them every time I want to watch one.

    Of course, maybe I’ll just toss my TV, period. The only reason I ever really watch it is for studying dialog and characterizations in movies and TV shows anyway. (I prefer books and comics, but there’s a lot to say about the culture put forth by television.)

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